


Snowfall

by ardentaislinn



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-12 00:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentaislinn/pseuds/ardentaislinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma and Fitz have a long overdue conversation while stranded together during a snowstorm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snowfall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adaughterofeve](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adaughterofeve/gifts).



It was the silence Jemma noticed first.

After almost 24 hours of howling winds and heavy snowfall, the sounds were more obvious by their absence. She looked across the common room of the bed and breakfast she and Fitz had stumbled into late last night in the midst of the storm. Her eyes found Fitz, tinkering with some bit of gadgetry that he had brought with him.

The room was dull and cold. Neither of them had bothered to build a fire, despite the materials laid out within reach and the chill that had pervaded the air for days. Jemma curled her hands further around her warm mug of tea and adjusted the blanket on her lap, searching for words to break the uncomfortable silence between them.

“Storm’s broken,” she murmured eventually.

Fitz looked up, a furrow of concentration still between his brows. His gaze shifted from her, to the window, and back again.

“Seems to be,” he replied, then looked back down at his hands. He sighed, then continued wearily, as if feeling obligated to carry on Jemma’s attempt at conversation. “Maybe we’ll make it to Mum’s for Christmas day after all, if the snow clears in time.”

“Yes. I’m glad my parents made the journey a few days ago, so they should be safe and snug at your Mum’s.” The words came out stilted, sounding wrong even to her own ears.

It wasn’t uncommon for the Fitz and Simmons clans to spend Christmas together. After all, their children had been so close for so long it was almost like they each belonged to all the parents equally.

“Yes,” Fitz replied.

Jemma squeezed her eyes shut at his monosyllabic answer. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Fitz’s head snapped up. “For what?”

“For all the things I’ve done to make you upset. I hate that things are like this between us. I thought this trip would help us mend things, but it seems to just be making things worse.”

“Jemma…”

He put everything he was holding down on the coffee table and looked at her, eyes intense. Unsure what he was going to say, and not sure she wanted to find out, Jemma barrelled on. “I’m sorry that all this happened, and I’m sorry you are hurt. I’m sorry-”

“Jemma, stop.” Fitz’s voice was firm. “Stop apologising. It’s not your fault.”

“But you’re upset and I want things to be better between us. So I’m sor-”

He stood up quickly and Jemma was surprised into silence. He crossed the room and sat beside her on the couch.

“Jemma, you need to stop apologising. I won’t deny that I am upset, but I know this isn’t your fault. The circumstances just suck.”

Jemma smiled wanly. “The cosmos’ fault?”

A genuine smile flickered across his face, then disappeared. “Definitely the cosmos.”

Jemma took a deep breath. “Is it the cosmos’ fault that we kissed?”

Fitz’s jaw tightened. “No, that one was on me.” He seemed angry at himself, his words tight and his jaw visibly clenching.

“And me,” Jemma replied quietly, reassuring.

They were silent for a moment, stillness settling between them. “Do you...do you regret it?” Fitz asked softly, the words whispering down her spine.

“No,” she told him. “Of course I don’t.”

“Even with everything that’s happened? Before...and since?”

She knew what he meant.  _ Before _ was her time on the planet - her time with Will.  _ Since _ meant his death - losing him a second time, and all the guilt and agony that came with that.

Jemma considered her words carefully. “There are many things I regret, Fitz. Both circumstances and actions that I’ve taken. But kissing you wasn’t one of them.”

“Then why have things been so awkward between us? There must be more to it. I know part of it is my fault, not knowing what to say or how to help but-” He shrugged, breaking off his words.

Jemma took a breath, trying to force out more words past the lump in her throat. “I just...I  _ can’t _ right now. I can’t deal with it; I can’t  _ think _ of it. I need time.”

Fitz took her hand between both his own, squeezing comfortingly. His face was a mask of helplessness.

“You don’t have to do anything now, Jemma. Don’t feel like I expect anything of you. I don’t. I wouldn’t. You don’t have to decide at all if you don’t want to. Just...please don’t push me away. I want to be here for you.” His voice was low, earnest and raw.

Jemma was silent for a moment, blinking furiously in an effort to keep her welling tears at bay.

“How long will you wait?” she whispered, so softly it was nearly lost in the gentle wind outside the window.

“How long have I already waited?” he countered. “I would wait that long a thousand times over for a chance for us to figure this out. Figure  _ us _ out.”

At that, the tears she had been fighting for so long began to slide down her cheeks. As if a dam had been broken, the tears gathered speed, racing down their tracks. Fitz wrapped a tentative hand around her back, and Jemma took the invitation to rest her head on his shoulder and draw comfort from him for the first time in too long.

A clock chimed somewhere within the bed and breakfast, breaking whatever spell had woven between them in the moment. Jemma found herself reluctant to disentangle herself from Fitz, but did so just the same.

“We should get going,” she murmured. “If we can.”

Fitz nodded, his gaze drifting over her face as if assessing her. He must not have found something too troublesome, because he nodded.

Jemma was halfway to the door when Fitz called her name. She turned to see he hadn’t moved.

“Merry Christmas,” he said with a smile.

Jemma found herself smiling in return. “Merry Christmas, Fitz.”


End file.
